Tuesday, October 28, 2014

run in the rain

Dearest Abigail, Benjamin, & Elizabeth,

A text message I received the other day buzzed on the kitchen counter with this question,

"Any tips for staying dry while running in the rain?"

And it's funny, because I never really thought about it before....

I just know that if you are an Oregonian and you want to run outside year-round, 

you will get wet. 

My only tip for staying dry if you want to run on a rainy day?

Don't run outside. 

But, if you want to know what it's like to feel the the rain of heaven wash you from head to toe, 

if you want to hear the song of water drops, 

and see the dancing trees, 

if you want to feel small but still a part of of it all, 

and if you want to touch rainbows, 

then you are gonna have to get your feet wet.

A little over a week ago Daddy and I had just seconds to make a decision that changed our lives forever. 

And you know what happened. 

We've told you bits and pieces of the story.

A wet and winding road stretched out before us as we drove over the Summit Pass,

admiring autumn in all her glory, 

searching for solace in the recent pain, 

wiping our tears away. 

And in a moment all the colors fade, 

the little car stops, 

and our eyes take in the tragedy before us.

There was no time for thinking about staying dry kids...

"Jenn, get out of the car we gotta help." 

No time for turning back. 

And you know how we climbed into the chaos.

You know how Daddy tried and held that baby as she died.

You know about the family that went to heaven that day.

We've told you about the courage of strangers coming together to help...

the kind of souls willing to get their feet wet too. 

And to be honest we are all gonna be drenched from this for a while. 

Because sometimes running in the rain isn't all rainbows and songs, 

sometimes running in the rain is literally 


It feels like that right now. 

But it's worth the vision of His glory.

This is the kind of faith we pray for you...

the kind that laces up and gets out there,

rain or shine,

let's run this race kids, no turning back.

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

A masterpiece is made of shadow and light

Thirteen years old under the grapevine wearing the dress I wore for my eighth grade graduation
This growing up thing is awkward and uncomfortable and unpredictable and unpleasant and...


It's just the way God creates the loveliest masterpiece.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

This boy

When Ben came down with bacterial pneumonia a couple of weeks ago I was worried. It was overwhemling to see him so sick and struggling just to breath. After a trip to urgent care, a much needed breathing treatment, and antibiotics (oh, he had a nasty ear infection too), mommy knew that this boy would be staying home from school for a while...almost a week to be exact. 

While recuperating Ben was such a comfort and a joy to my heart...still heavy from our loss.

When he started feeling well enough to be up and about, he made me breakfast, cuddled with me on the couch, and even designed a custom made Jane Eyre lego set, just for me.  Seriously. 

I'm so grateful when God provides time for us to spend with our kids individually...not that I want them to be getting sick like this again any time soon! 

I love you Benji.
Thank you for being such an amazing person.
I see you on the edge of change,
and I'm excited for the man that you will one day become,
but for now I'm treasuring these twilight days of childhood. 
You are a gift.

Hurray for Urgent Care!

Still not too big for cuddles

Always has loved to cook

My Jane Eyre Lego set...Mr. Rochester's face actually is two sided...the other side is covered in scars of course.