Tuesday, February 11, 2014

more thoughts on discipline

As I re-read the post titled "No" dated 1/27/14,  
I realized how public our personal life can become through a blog. To be honest, if someone thought they personally knew us because they only read our blog they are mistaken. (These life snippets are just the tip of the iceberg!) But, this post in particular implies a discipline, (the kind that results in a sore bum), that many parents do not agree with, and beyond that, some parents argue to be associated with abuse. In regards to the "sore-bum" kind of discipline:
We embrace the Bible to be the Word of God, it is our go-to guide for life. We believe that every bit of the Bible is the inspired Word of God and we do our best to love these children the way that we have been loved by God. 
Just in case one would argue, "God doesn't love us", let me bring to mind the discipline that we didn't have to endure. The discipline that God subjected His own beloved Son to, 
so that we could be forgiven, free, and live with Him forever in Heaven;

Isaiah 53:6-8
English Standard Version (ESV)
All we like sheep have gone astray;
    we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
    yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
    and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened 
not his mouth. 

We discipline our children because we love them. This is hard for so many parents to understand, especially if abuse and harm had been a part of their own childhood. As much as hurting a child physically out of anger and frustration is unjust so to is neglect. If a child is subject to a consistently sore-bum, clearly this form of discipline is not accomplishing any growth what-so-ever (for the child or parent). 

Colossians 3:21

English Standard Version (ESV)
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

The goal of discipline is to keep the child safe from danger or future harm. 
Most parents would agree that a child who cannot swim should be kept safe from drowning. Those ridiculous floaties we cram onto their pudgy arms are "no fun" to the child who wants to be free (Zibby, our most independently spirited child hated floaties)...but, until they learn to swim, they have to wear them. We are vigilant around water and cannot really breath a sigh of relief until they know how to swim like a fish.  What kind of parent would we be if we let the child have their way? The result of our neglect to address the issue and protect the child would very likely result in future harm. We discipline to protect, to direct, and to ultimately allow the child to become a confident, secure, and independent adult as they swim along through the deeps of this life. We do not enjoy disciplining  our children when the need arrises. We have not disciplined them in this way often. We always tell them why they are being disciplined in that way. And we always hold them afterward and tell them how much we love them. They are not afraid of us. 
They respond with a new willingness and understanding. 
Because of Love.

Hebrews 12:11

English Standard Version (ESV)

11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

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